‘During the handover, I mention something noteworthy so that the parent knows: my child was seen today’

When it comes to a child’s development, effective cooperation between parents and our childcare staff is essential. This also has a positive influence on a child’s well-being and their enjoyment at Kindergarden. What is your view?

Lars: ‘As the main nurturers, the parents are always the focus. We also have a role, and we seek to cooperate with them. As a childcare staff member, you’re a professional – more than just someone who cares for a child. Some children are with us four days each week at after-school care, which means that you’re a co-carer; in partnership with the parent. Every day, I communicate with the parents about what their children are doing in the time they spend with us.’

‘In practice, many things just happen naturally. However, if a child needs some extra attention, then I discuss that with the parents. For example, for my exams I did an assignment about a child who had problems within a group. This little boy required a lot of attention, tested things and didn’t listen, while he is very nice and sweet on his own, and also when he is challenged a little more. You observe the behaviour, determine the purpose of your observations, and then discuss with the parents what you want to do. They know their child best, and know what’s good for their child. This means that we can help with parenting, where necessary.’

Nicole: ‘Parent participation, or childcare partnership, promotes the well-being, safety and development of the children. Every family has their own parenting rules and we have them too. We have conversations with parents focused on finding a way forward: we explain why we have certain child-rearing rules and rituals. We work together to coordinate these and ensure that the child has the best possible experience.’

What does that childcare partnership actually look like in daily practice at your location?

Nicole: ‘At the location, we use insights for this purpose: what is nicest for a child? How does a child develop most effectively?
As professional co-carers, we focus on the child’s individuality and ownership, and their autonomy and self-reliance. I hope that parents really come to recognise us as co-carers who are genuinely invested in the children’s development, and not just providing a care service while they work. And that it’s about much more than just sitting on the floor, playing a game, playing outside, eating, sleeping and nappy changes.’

Nikki: ‘In my opinion, the role of the childcare staff member is the most important in this respect. As a location manager, I can perform the first intake, make parents feel welcome and provide them with all the basic information, but ultimately they will be leaving their child with the childcare staff. And parents want to be able to feel good about leaving their child with them. That’s the foundation for the trust relationship. So in addition to the ‘office intake’, there is also always the intake with the childcare staff member in the group, which is about the most important person: your child. It covers our working method, what’s necessary, about bottles, and when it comes to after-school care, then it’s about how the child is picked up from school, and so on. Conversely, the childcare staff need to receive the space and the full confidence of the parents to care properly for their child.’

Can you meet specific requests from parents?

Nicole: ‘We always take them into consideration, but they do have to align with the possibilities and the rhythm of the group. The starting point is: what is possible? What are the wishes, are they feasible, and where can we accommodate each other?

‘If a child is demonstrating a particular behaviour that affects other children or the rest of the group, then we team up with the staff in the group to see where that behaviour is coming from. What are we observing, when does something happen? If we’re going to undertake observations, then we involve the parents immediately and talk to them about it: is this behaviour also happening at home? Do they have ways of diminishing the behaviour, or actually provoking it? In these matters, we clearly seek out cooperation with the parents: what do you do at home, what helps, and what can we learn from this? Naturally, we then also share our expertise and experience, and make agreements and an action plan.’

‘The reality is that we always figure things out. What do parents say, what do they want? What is actually going on? We always explain why we want to try out a particular plan, and that’s why we actually never get any resistance. After all, we want the best, including for their child.’

Nikki: ‘There are always specific wishes, because every parent and child is unique. For me, it’s important to be clear about expectations. I indicate why we think something is important, such as when it comes to doing things in groups – children in a group can learn from each other. Explaining is half the battle: indicating why we do or can do something.’

How do you gain the trust necessary to establish the cooperation?

Nicole: ‘By asking questions and listening very carefully. And I don’t get defensive when parents have a point. I offer a listening ear and try to explain matters, and parents appreciate that. I always try to understand the needs of the child and the parents.’

Nikki: ‘If I notice during an intake that a parent is nervous about bringing their first child to us, and if they need more frequent contact at first, I can understand that. After all, you’ve awaited this baby for nine months, and then spent the first period of their life alone with them, and now all of a sudden you have to leave them at a place that’s still strange to you. I tell them: I’d rather you make an extra phone call to the group to ask how things are going, than have you sit at home worrying. You never have to feel like nuisance for calling. It makes perfect sense to feel stressed about childcare at first.’

Lars: ‘When I spoke to the parents of the child I mentioned earlier, who was restless in the group, I discussed giving their son extra challenges, including in group activities. If you avoid the subject, then you miss the opportunity to build trust. Some parents find it difficult to talk about things like this, but once you get started, they do appreciate the behaviour being brought up.’

What do you provide during a handover?

Lars: ‘I don’t have any fixed message, but I do think it’s important to be yourself and be open with parents. Have a relaxed demeanour and take a calm approach in conversations. This is helpful both to me and to the parents. After a while, you build up a bond and that’s really great – after all, you want the best for their child.’ 

Nicole: ‘Sometimes parents do wonder: is my child actually being seen? While some children are often in the foreground, others tend to be more retiring. When I’m doing the handover, I always try to mention something that stood out, to show that I have seen the child that day. So instead of saying something general like: we had fun playing outside today, and the children ate well, I mention something individual that shows a parent that their child is developing – for example, that they did something funny. If a child is pushing boundaries, I tell them that too. It’s a positive sign that a child is developing and gaining confidence. There may be a meaning behind it, but parents often say: oh yes, I do recognise that.’